VapourZine

Dear readers, if you have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart this is a great example. And oldie but a goodie.

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHA T??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

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How I ask can you messed something like this up. I hope you are blind so I'd excuse you. But if you are not. You must be the stupidest, inconsiderate, ass hole of the century to take up two handicap parking space!!! Ladies and gentleman car number is WPK6393

 

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Milli Vanilli man, damn.

Hahahahhaha, Sorry Milli Vanilli fans, this is just too funny man.

Driving one sunny day, this caught me off guard!

Not clear enough? Your loveable host drove really close and got a better picture, scroll down.

 
I don't know how safe this shit is man.

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So I was in the car with my friend Dennis driving around Damai area and I caught a glimpse of this wild boar-looking dog! At first I thought it was a boar, and then realized it was a dog when we drove up to it. I mean, what do you have to eat as an animal to get to that size. This dog here clearly looks like a stray dog and from my understanding stray dogs are skinny like Utopian kids.

 

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I've always loved this song by Snow Patrol. But I never actually look at the lyrics before. After checking it out this afternoon, I felt like, shit, this is such a hope-giving song. Such a masterpiece.

To bad they don't have a music video for this song but still, enjoy.

Please don't go crazy, if I tell you the truth
No you don't know what happened
And you never will if
You don't listen to me while I talk to the wall
This blanket is freezing, it's been out in the hall
Where you've had me for hours
Till I'm sure what I want
But darling I want the same thing that I wanted before
So sweetheart tell me what's up I won't stop no way
Please keep your hands down
And stop raising your voice
It's hardly what I'd be doing if you gave me a choice
It's a simple suggestion can you give me sometime
So just say yes or no
Why can't you shoulder the blame
Coz both my shoulders are heavy
From the weight of us both
You're a big boy now so let's not talk about growth
You've not heard a single word I have said...
Oh, my God
Please take it easy it can't all be my fault
I haven't made half the mistakes
That you've listed so far
Oh baby let me explain something
It's all down to drugs
At least I remember taking the and not a lot else
It seems I've stepped over lines
You've drawn again and again
But if the ecstacy's in the wit is definitely out
Dr. Jekyll is wrestling Hyde for my pride

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